Printer Conundrums

I need a balloon. A giant, pink Mylar butterfly balloon. You see, I bought a new printer two weeks ago. The other one quit functioning; printers have a way of doing that. This one almost went back to the shop three times. The first time, the printer wouldn’t print because of an “offline” message. Ditto for the second time. Both times necessitated spending time troubleshooting with the HP print and scan doctor.

This last time, I got an “error” message. That’s all it said. Error. Returning to the store wasn’t an option because we’re getting back-to-back snowstorms this week. Aside from the hazardous driving conditions, there is a long walk from house to car on icy sidewalks, thanks to the refreezing of snow.

Mr. Printer deemed himself worthy of printing off my iPhone but wouldn’t budge with my computer. I turned to my Mylar balloons for guidance, but they bobbed and said, “I don’t know.”  I ran it through the doctor again, and it is okay now. The quality of the print works nicely. I wish it wasn’t so temperamental. Why can’t it be gentle, like the Mylar balloons I find easy to work with.

I once went through a phase where I went through three printers in as many years. The technology on them has yet to get better. The print quality has improved, and they can do more functions thanks to the HP Smart app, but they remain as temperamental as ever.

As for my Mylar balloon wish, a large purple butterfly found me at the Giant this past weekend before the storms started. It rode saddle on my forehead until I checked it out with groceries, knowing the battle with the printer would resume. What are your thoughts on the temperament of printers? Have you found one that works for you? I’d love to hear your thoughts.

The I Gotta Syndrome versus Developmental Edit

With my WIP, I’m processing the edits and recommendations made by Kathryn Craft, who did the developmental edit on my sequel to When Blood Reigns. In short, she recommended replotting. I’m looking at ways I can work her suggestions into what I have. The evaluations and recommendations were extensive, but I’m trying to follow through because I’ve got the I Gotta Syndrome.

Barbara Custer's brand

In 2020, shortly before the pandemic hit, I signed up for Kathryn’s Craft’s Your Novel Year writing class. I’d been working on the book before I took her class and started with Alexis being the lead character in the first two books. This WIP comes with a cast of new characters, and Maddie, the balloon lady with a sickly husband, took over the plot. I began Kathryn’s course resigned to having two protagonists. The story wouldn’t work that way. Because Kathryn had gotten well versed in the new characters, especially Maddie, and the writing class came with a discount on the developmental edit, I hired her for the job.

After reading the evaluations and recommendations, the first thing I did was head to the supermarkets and CVS, for when the going gets tough, the tough buy balloons. After a session of balloon-buying and rereading, I began to understand some of the problems. My main character came across too needy and weak. I thought if she kicked serious zombie ass, people would think she was strong. Wrongies. It’s her handling of day-to-day conflict that defines her as a strong character—or not.

I’d gotten attached to my characters and didn’t want any of them to die. So my current version has all the characters surviving. The trouble is, the mayhem the zombies create never hit home to the reader, says Kathryn, because it reads like statistics. Statistics mean nothing until one of your family dies. So a major character will have to die.

To me, repetition connotes having everyone smile or sigh through their lines or repeatedly using the same adjective. It never crossed my mind until I read the evaluation that whole scenes can be repeated—yes, this happened. Also, character A tells character B something, then B repeats the same information to C, and so on.

I got to feeling bad about this. Before I wrote this blog, I had to fortify myself with two balloon purchases first, but Kathryn advised me to think about why I wrote the story in the first place. Mike died from dementia—there is that, but I also have several close friends caring for spouses with dementia—and therein lies my I gotta. Because Maddie’s goal is to find a cure for her husband, and I’d love for scientists to find a treatment for this insidious disease.

I can’t advise anyone how to work through developmental edits or find the motivation to finish their stories, only how it’s working for me. I will finish this, even if it means I’m pushing 90 by the time it sees print. Kathryn Craft is a great editor, and so is Gemini Wordsmiths. You can’t go wrong sending your work for a developmental edit to either one. And look to the I Gotta Syndrome to find the motivation to finish the story.

So how are you making out with your WIPs? Have you sent any for a developmental edit? I’d like to hear about your experiences. 😊

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October Frighs Giveaway: https://storyoriginapp.com/to/Ac7PxRJ.

Panel Link:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AhmMj50CfG8

science fiction tale by Rod Marsden

Romancing the Balloons

Barbara Custer's brand

Since April, when I wrote my first post on the pandemic, gyms and hair salons have reopened, albeit with restrictions. Some of my friends are jumping into activities full force. Others remain in quarantine. Per the discussions with my Mylar balloons, the activities are okay if I can take the risk from a level 10 to a level two. Romancing the balloons at the supermarkets and pharmacies hasn’t stopped; my balloons deemed that activity a level two.

I’ve gone back to my hairstylist, but not the gym. I do ZOOM workouts while Daisy, my Mylar butterfly, becomes my trainer, coaching me on which weights to use. If she thinks I’m slacking off, she lets me know about it. I contemplated getting a traditional trainer, but I have what I need at home.

The pandemic has colored the way I write. My WIP involves a highly contagious virus that had a way larger death toll than corona. This means that, as in real life, my characters have to struggle to find a store that sells toilet paper, disinfectant, and other supplies they need. As in real life, my protagonist has Mylar balloons to guide her on her daily activities.

Since the pandemic started, I’ve noticed that driving’s gone downhill. I’ve seen people blow through red lights and make U-turns on four-lane thoroughfares, despite heavy traffic. Friends tell me that some folks think nothing of driving 100 miles per hour on the turnpike. About a month ago, a van came up to my right to make a U-turn and almost plowed into me. I had to get off the road. So I’ve used the back roads and avoid rush hour traffic as much as possible. The Mylar balloon principle applies: take the risk from a level 10 to a level two.

I never know when I’ll find a unique Mylar balloon. Maybe I’ll go to CVS to pick up a prescription, and a Valentine’s day balloon with lace will beckon from the card aisle. Perhaps I’ll go to the supermarket for bread and milk. If supplies hold up, I’ll get them, but a balloon, soft as a kitten paw, will make its way into my shopping cart. The balloons go into an isolation area for 72 hours at home, then joins the others in my living room.

How are you getting through the pandemic? I’d love to hear your experiences.

A $10 Amazon gift card will be sent to a random commenter after the bloghop.

Killing your Darlings

This year, I’ve been taking Your Novel Year with Kathryn Craft, and among other things, I am learning what it means to kill your darlings. No, not my balloons. My Mylar balloons are darlings, and they’re staying right where they are. I’m referring to the darling scenes I have in my WIP. 

The trouble was, my WIP had two protagonists. I started the book with one, Alexis. Maddie was a bit character who sought help from the underground Kryszka people with treatment for her husband’s sickness. However, Maddie wound up stealing the show and became a protagonist. I tried writing with two protagonists, but you can only have one, I found out. Readers will usually sympathize with the character they meet first. I had introduced the villain first, and after a class or two under my belt, I realized I couldn’t do that. So I started with Maddie kicking zombie ass.

After consultation with Kathryn, I saw that I had to completely restructure my book. Several good scenes had to go, as they had nothing to do with Maddie’s goal. What’s more, I had 114,000 words in the book, and genre books shouldn’t be longer than 100K words. So a love scene between Alexis and her partner went. So did a scene where Maddie visits her nephew in prison. It was a touching scene, but it didn’t further the story or relate to Maddie’s goal. 

However, new scenes have cropped up that I like better than the discarded scenes. For starters, Maddie develops a spine and tells off her heartless boss. Now, I may have to change that scene again, but we’ll see. And the Mylar balloons in the story get to stay. There is that. I strongly recommend Kathryn’s course. She’s been running it once a year.

How many times have you had to kill your darlings? I’d love to hear about your experiences.

A $10 Amazon gift card will be sent to a random commenter after the bloghop.

horror fiction by Allan Heller

The Great Pumpkin—Exploring the Senses

horror tales by Barbara Custer and other authors

Amidst my counting masks, paper products, and other supplies to wither the Great Pandemic, my butterfly Mylar balloon whispered, “How about baking a cheesecake? A pumpkin cheesecake. After all, it’s that time of the year.”

“What time of the year?” I rolled my eyes.

“The Great Pumpkin’s coming.”

My balloon had it right. So I started the balloon floating with a pumpkin-flavored latte at Starbucks. Next, a trip to Bath & Body Works for pumpkin-scented soap and hand sanitizer. If I have to use it, I might as well smell like pumpkin.

I’ve got pumpkin-flavored coffee, pumpkin muffins, and pumpkin Cheerios. The pumpkin cheesecake tasted better than I remember. I will make a stop at Wawa for the pumpkin smoothies. I’m going for all the senses, so I’ve got room deodorizers and beads to keep the pumpkin scent going between baking brigades. There’s pumpkin-flavored ice cream for sale somewhere. I’m also contemplating a recipe for pumpkin soup. Last year, when I volunteered at the Ben Wilson Senior Center, someone made pumpkin soup. It smelled oh, so good, but it was made with regular flour, so my version will be GF.

Why the fixation with pumpkin? The smell of pumpkin is associated with Thanksgiving and autumnal harvest — a historically prosperous time of year. Pumpkin connotes comfort and warmth as we head into fall and colder weather. Pumpkin pie has become a traditional family recipe, so I think family and love when I smell pumpkin. Contemplate a famous scene in Proust’s masterpiece, “Remembrance Of Things Past,” where the narrator eats a madeleine cookie, and it seems as if he’s transported back to another time and place. Perhaps this happens to me when I have my pumpkin treats. Pumpkin spice takes me back to Thanksgiving as a child, when my mom baked pumpkin pie from scratch. In those days, we didn’t have to worry about Corona. Mom and Pop stores were thriving, and you didn’t have to go through a lot of rigmarole to buy stuff so long as you had the cash.

It could be I just love the smell of pumpkin spice.

With that in mind, I’ll keep my eyes open for pumpkin-shaped Mylar balloons, and I shall continue to enjoy my pumpkin treats through Thanksgiving. Do you have any favorite pumpkin treats? I’d love to hear your stories.

A $10 Amazon gift card will be sent to a random commenter after the bloghop.

Amazon KDP Versus Lulu

Thing is, once I’m done laying out the magazine, the time comes to order proof and contributor copies. This time out, I’m packing at home and then mail all the issues because several times, Amazon has marked certain items “undeliverable” and then refunded me the money. This necessitated going through the ordering process again. I suspect that some drivers get sick along the way, so whatever’s in the truck goes back to the facility. What’s more, the USPS is under new management, which means streamlining costs and eliminating overtime, causing the delay in shipping. I think I really needed that balloon!

I needed a Mylar balloon, at least in principle. I just ordered a print run for Night to Dawn 38, not from Lulu like I’ve done since 2008, but from Amazon KDP. Lulu reports longer shipping times, and I expect some of this with KDP because many postal workers have gotten sick; ergo, fewer people are available to do the job. What’s more, certain countries put a ban on international shipping. In theory, COVID shouldn’t affect NTD’s process unless I get sick. Thankfully, with practical coaching from my Mylar balloons, I’m staying healthy.

I was pleased with the proof, but that’s not the only reason I went with KDP. Lulu has changed its website. The first proof looked good, but after I made some minor changes, an issue came up with the print extending full bleed to the edges of the page. Several tries and swear words later, I found Lulu’s new templates and margin requirements. This will necessitate redoing the layout. I have in mind to rework the file after I mailed all the contributors their issues.

The KDP proof looks good. I don’t have double columns like I did with Lulu, and the cover looks different. When I went through my changes with KDP initially, they wanted an author name on the cover, so I tucked in “Presented by Barbara Custer” in small letters. Copies for the print run will cost a little over $2.00 each—not bad. The reduced price per issue will make up for the increased cost in postage. If things go smoothly with shipping, I will start sending issues through the distributor again.

I never thought I’d see the day I’d choose KDP over Lulu for the Night to Dawn 38. But Night to Dawn 38 is now available through Amazon. So today, I went out and got the Mylar balloon posted below.

featuring Barbara Custer's Night to Dawn 38
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