Odyssey Redux Excerpt:
Once the room transitioned from a formal setting to a relaxed one with a social bent, Cillian enlightened those in his proximity, “I recently read that hospitals sell infant foreskin to biotech labs.”
“Did you hear that, son?” Joey said as he cradled the freshly circumcised infant. “Your birth has hastened your uncle to learn all about the virtues of foreskin. It just goes to show that no one is too young to be an influencer.”
A curious Sharon asked Cillian, “Why is that?”
Cillian told Sharon, “Infant foreskin is bursting with fibroblasts, which are cells so rich in collagen that labs can manipulate them into various other cell types. For example, they can engineer skin grafts for burn victims. But here’s the best part: the fibroblasts from a small square of foreskin can multiply to cover an entire football field! That’s a whole lotta potential grafting, bejeezus.”
“So, what you’re saying,” said Sharon, “skin that God designated for the human penis could end up on my nose or some other part of my face should I get cancer that requires my skin sloughed off?”
“Oh, it gets better,” Cillian eagerly intoned. “Because foreskin is so rich in collagen, it’s used in manufacturing makeup and face creams; so, chances are, your nose and a good portion of your face are already covered with a conglomeration of prepuce. In fact, I’d go so far as to say every woman alive owes the enhancement of their beauty to the wonders of male foreskin.”
“There’s no justice in this world,” Sharon groused while glaring at the males in her proximity—the newbie included.
Next, everyone turned their queer expressions on Addison when he said, “Whenever I think of circumcision, I conjure images of female birds. I imagine a delicate sliver of penile skin dangling from the beak of a sparrow, let’s say. Mama Sparrow is transporting that tender sliver back to the nest to feed her still-blind and hungry hatchling. When the hatchling senses Mama Sparrow is near, it opens its anticipatory beak as wide as it will go, and into its beak, Mama Sparrow drops the foreskin. It’s kinda like an avian version of the tooth fairy but with a cycle of life slant.”
It was with mock admiration that Sharon intoned, “Just when I thought it was no longer possible that you could stun me into silence, you go and prove me wrong.”
Cillian put an assuaging arm around the new mother and said, “In a way, it’s kinda comforting, is it not?”